Bless your heart, you are reading the post from a Southern gal.
Last night, I sat down at the computer and was finishing my Diet Coke (caffeine free, if you wanted to know). I got to the last bit in the can...yes, I was drinking straight from the can....which means I couldn't see in it....anyhoo, the last drink had a big, hard, wiggly thing in it. Well, I did not want to be like the old lady who swallowed the fly, so I just spat on my kitchen floor everything in my mouth. Which included, a bit of Diet Coke and a BUG!!!!! The BUG was on it's back and was wiggling it's legs in a most disgusting fashion considering it had come from my MOUTH! Notice I said, "WAS". Yes, I killed it with not a second's thought. Then, I put it in the trashcan in a napkin (this part is important!!!). I was home alone with the kids at the time. My husband was on his way back from preaching in KY. Not wanting to frighten the children I just went and quietly scalded my mouth and then used Listerine to decontaminate myself. If I had a hazmat suit, I would have put it on.
Also, it should be noted that I am a Southern girl who knows nothing about bugs except just very basic things. When I see bugs in their element, I can identify the most basic of bugs. For instance, a fly that is flying around a horse is a "horsefly", and a bee that is around a hive full of honey is a "honeybee". So, I saw this bug around food and thought....ROACH!!!!
I then call my hubby on his cell phone to tell him my horrific news, because really I thought my life was over. Would he ever love me after such a thing as this? Would he feel comfortable kissing a BUG MOUTH??? He reassured me that after I had scalded my mouth and used Listerine until I developed burns that he would then feel comfortable kissing me.
Eventually, he came home and I ran to the door to get some pity. He kissed me. What a trooper! I love this man. We talked some more about the event and then he heard me say something about the BUG being in the trash in a napkin. (Were you paying attention??? I told you this would come back in the story.) He went and looked at the remains and told me it wasn't a ROACH! That it was one of those beetles that fly around lights. AHA, then I knew it was a JUNE BUG....after all, it is barely out of JUNE! YIPPEE! He is my hero. He saved me from this torture.
Then, I remembered stopping by my parents' home after church services and getting the Diet Coke and walking to the van with the boys and as I was letting the little one in a JUNE BUG hit me in the head and disappeared. Obviously, into my drink. I was so happy because that meant that I had a Tennessee JUNE BUG in my Diet Coke and not a nasty, disgusting, ROACH from the Coca-Cola plant.
All is well with the world, JUNE BUG not ROACH....phew!!!!